Daily Lesson

Subayi Usia 25 Minggu

2011-12-13T23:13:00.001+07:00

Foto subayi dengan USG 4 dimensi. Sayang agak kurang jelas karena agak ketutup tali pusar.

Subayi malu2 kalau difoto ni :)

Subayi usia 8 minggu

2011-08-19T23:53:00.000+07:00

Selesai periksa USG, begitulah tampang subayi di umurnya yang 8 minggu.

Semoga sehat2 ya nak, we will wait for you out here.

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Confirm! It's a Baby

2011-07-20T22:23:00.001+07:00

Alhamdulillaah!

Puji syukur ke hadirat Illahi Rabbi, visit ke dokter tadi malam mengkonfirmasi kehamilan usia 4 minggu, padahal baru 3 minggu yg lalu diketahui posisi rahim ibunya terbalik.

*sujud syukur*
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Sign of a Baby?

2011-07-19T22:48:00.000+07:00

Hari ini hari kedua test pack digunakan. Tiga test pack menunjukkan hasil positif. Hari kemaren satu test pack menunjukkan hasil positif. Jumat baru akan konfirmasi ke dokter.

Mudah2an ya Allah.

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Nasehat Ibu

2010-09-24T22:50:00.000+07:00

Tanggal 24 September pagi ini telah dilangsungkan pengajian dalam rangka persiapan pernikahan saya.

Dalam acara sungkeman, Ibu menyampaikan nasehat yang akan saya tulis di Blog ini, agar saya ingat terus dan nasehatnya terabadikan di dunia maya.

Ibu menangis waktu membaca ini, dan sambil bersimpuh di hadapan Ibu, air mata saya pun bercucuran tak henti-henti.

Beginilah nasihat Ibu, yang sengaja disampaikan dalam bahasa sunda:

Aid,

Anaking jimat awaking, cunduk kana waktu, ninggang kana mangsa
sakedeung deui hidep rek ngambah kahirupan anyar.

Aid,

Mun Ibu jeung Bapa nyoreang ka tukang, Ibu jeung Bapa moal bisa poho, harita basa Aid kudu make kacamata keur umur tilu tahun, hate Ibu ceurik, hate Bapa nalangsa, kumaha pikahareupeun hidep engke, subhanallah, kapaur teh gening teu ngabukti, prestasi hidep cukup nyongcorang sanajan di kacamata.

Aid,

Ibu jeung Bapa teu loba pamenta, tanjeurkeun tihang agama, sajatina eta nu rek mawa hidep kana kabagjaan dunya akherat, sakinah mawaddah warohmah, sajatina eta tujuan hidep ngambah rumah tangga.
Bral miang anaking, beber layar tarik jangkar runtut raut sauyunan, jatnika hirup hidep rumangkep nepi ka pati.

Salawasna
doa Ibu jeung Bapa marengan hidep.

Revisiting Bog

2010-09-02T14:57:00.000+07:00

Wow it was almost a year ago since I write anything in this post. A lot of changes happen during that course. But the main reason for my absence in Blog is the increase usage of Facebook and Twitter.

Facebook has its own Blog hosting, make it easier because you can have everything about you in one place, neat. Whilst Twitter is popular for live events or live discussion and tend to easy reach out since approval is not necessary unlike in Facebook.

Accordingly, the combination of two will be a killer app, which is exactly what I've been doing. Anything I write on my Twitter will appear automatically in my Facebook's wall.

It seems that the more busy we are nowadays the less time we have to spend to read something so lengthy like Blog. Compare it with Twitter with only 140 characters. When you have something a lot to say then you use a series of twitt usually marked by hash tag in each twitt. It flows like we are in the middle of conversation, how exciting! Suddenly Blog turns out into something dull and old-fashioned and there we go, just leave them behind.

Oh well. Anyway it is always nice to revisit this Blog and any other Blog again.

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Another Over

2009-10-07T13:43:00.002+07:00

Kalau kehidupan adalah padang pasir tiada batas, maka hidup adalah ikhtiar tanpa henti mencari oase. Bukan untuk berteduh selamanya, tapi untuk beristirahat sejenak, meminum airnya yang jernih, menikmati belaian anginnya yang lembut, dan siesta di balik kerimbunan pohonnya. Tapi bukan untuk selamanya, karena hidup adalah ikhtiar tanpa henti.

Oase menjadi catu daya, untuk mengisi kembali energi kita, untuk kembali melanjutkan perjalanan tanpa henti mengarungi padang pasir tiada batas. Tapi kita tahu ada oase yang dapat kita kembali kapan pun kita letih, kapan pun kita perlu berteduh. Dan setiap orang akan memiliki oase nya masing-masing. Dan ikhtiar itu adalah, mencari oase kita sendiri.

Kadang kita bertemu fatamorgana, menganggap hamparan air di ujung sana adalah oase kita, kita berlari dan berlari, semakin dekat semakin kencang kita berlari. Tapi fatamorgana hanyalah pantulan mentari dan kita kembali terjerembab ke pasir yang kering dan panas. Letih menusuk, tapi perjalanan tidak bisa berhenti, sakit, tapi mesti bangkit kembali.

Semoga masih ada energi tersisa tuk menemukan oase itu, letih semakin menusuk dan padang pasir terhampar semakin luas dan semakin tanpa batas. Akankah ini berujung?

And the Ramadhan is Over

2009-09-19T20:54:00.001+07:00

And the Ramadhan is over tonite. It is a sad departure, not only for me but for most moslem in the world who celebrate that holy and great month of Islam.

Tomorrow is Eid Fitr, where we are gratefu for completed a whole month fasting. Shortly afteward, life is back to business as usual. This is exactly why I'm so sad that Ramadhan leaves us.

In the upcoming days, work will commence again, and we do exactly the same thing again over the years, sometimes life is so dull and bored.

This is the reason why we all taught to achieve improvement every single day, to avoid the same mistake but most importantly, to avoid life become only a pathetic matter of repetitive acts.

Accordingly God, bless me with your wisdom and courage, enabling me to reach this particular destination in life, where the journey thereof will restart again, but with a bigger new ship and lovely crew, cruising new uncharted ocean.

Hope I will meet another Ramadhan next year and had some significant progress. Amin.
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In Memoriam Jakarta Bombing

2009-07-20T02:07:00.001+07:00

We Shall Overcome
By: Bruce Springsteen

We shall overcome,
we shall overcome,
We shall overcome
someday;

Oh, deep in my heart,
I do believe,
We shall overcome someday.

The Lord will see us through,
The Lord will see us through,
The Lord will see us through
someday;

Oh, deep in my heart,
I do believe,
We shall overcome someday.

We're on to victory,
We're on to victory,
We're on to victory
someday;

Oh, deep in my heart,
I do believe,
We're on to victory
someday.

We'll walk hand in hand,
we'll walk hand in hand,
We'll walk hand in hand
someday;

Oh, deep in my heart,
I do believe,
We'll walk hand in hand someday.

We are not afraid,
we are not afraid,
We are not afraid
today;

Oh, deep in my heart,
I do believe,
We are not afraid today.

The truth shall make us free,
the truth shall make us free,
The truth shall make us free
someday;

Oh, deep in my heart,
I do believe,
The truth shall make us free
someday.

We shall live in peace,
we shall live in peace,
We shall live in peace
someday;

Oh, deep in my heart,
I do believe,
We shall live in peace someday
--
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When is this gonna stop?

2009-06-29T10:49:00.002+07:00

Here I go again, for a countless time as I can recall. Life is no perfect nor fair, I know it well for so long. Life is a constant moving toward equilibrium, not a perfection. A friend told me, there's no life without running into problems. And we spend all of our energy to overcome one to encounter with another one, or sometimes simultaneously. Don't you wish to end all or yours? but that only means to terminate your life. And indeed, everybody wants to go to heaven bu no one wants to die.

Each time you make decision, your future is change. In the theory of parallel life, you will have your life divided each time you make decision. Each life will continue its path separately and there are points when you can slide from one path to another path, where you can take a peek, how is yourself overthere when you follow the other decision. Since we only live on single string of life path and the theory of parallel life is only a theory after all, therefore you must have a profound contemplation before you can decide on something. In some instances, you have no single clue what your future would be for the consequence of your decision.

And that's exactly where I stand right now. We're not the master of the universe nor we're holding the future in our hand. We're seeking for the best possible future but best is a very relative notion, it will be various from man to man, moreover from human to divine.

And therefore, God, I surrender my self and my future to your power. You've created me and complete me with freedom, and in this time of my life, I genuinely ask for your intervention and guidance. I seek for a very tiny part of your vision and wisdom and pray that you grant me a glimpse of me in the future. Keep me strong and keep me serene, dear God.

Negeri van Oranje

2009-05-09T01:40:00.001+07:00

A collaborative novel by Wahyuningrat, Adept Widiarsa, Nisa Riyadi, and Rizki Pandu Permana. Big credit to the writer team for bring back lucid memories of living a life as a student in a small piece of land called the Netherlands.

I guess that it is true, people are so predictable. The same place, same conditions, have resulted in exactly the same experience. Reading this book is very much like strolling back each footstep, slowly and meticulously. Pick up left memories every here and there, raising them up one by one closer to my eyes, observing them carefully, smile and cry unavoidably.

Between true story or fiction, from my deepest sincerity, I congratulate the writer team, not for their chance to study abroad and exploring Europe, but rather for embracing a true friendship along the way.

Those experiences may highly valuable but those friendships are priceless!

*suddenly I desperately miss my comrades in Amsterdam and the tears and laughters we shared together*

On Time

2009-03-01T22:33:00.001+07:00

Well I'm not the most punctual person of all time but I can't stand working with people who always late.

Horizontal Conflict

2009-02-22T12:10:00.000+07:00

If faith and believe perpetually become the source of violences among us, then I'm afraid John Lennon was right.

"imagine there's no religion... Living life in peace"

Being 32

2009-02-18T00:33:00.000+07:00

Having learned management and organization a lot still fails me to become an organized person. At the age of 32, I haven't had a lucid yet realistic vision about my future.

My life plan is simplified into: there's has to be something new every year. It assures me that I don't waste a year for nothing. But how to orchestra a little bit here and there into an array of complete picture is merely out of question.
Not because that I don't believe in long term planning nor that I'm a type of man that live for the day. But it just due to the responsibility I chose and the consequences thereof.

Will you delay your future to secure the present? Even though the present is not for your convenience and you can't curb the future to come? For me the answer is yes.

Life indeed is choosing between options. And as Covey said, you free to choose the stick but you're not free to choose the other end of the stick. Meaning: no regret. Since this is the path that I picked and therefore the road I will take, wholeheartedly.

I know where the road ends but I don't know how much time it will take to reach the destination in this road, and worse: whether I arrived before the time is running up or there are other shorter roads available. They are called risks and nowadays we are taught to be able to manage the risks but we're allways a good teacher than a good pupil.

But gentlemen, what is the biggest risk in my plot? For sure I would never able to reach the destination. But isn't that the same risks everyone would encounter with? So what will I lose in this self-created game?

However, the game exists only to the greater game beyond our control. You can win in your own game but you're considered lose in the greater game simultaneously. And therefore you need to cope with the perceived necessity of winning the both games. Only if you can really honest with your self and possess a mountain of courages, you will ignore the greater game and only worry in your own game.

Now if you still read till this part, than at 32 I prove my old thesis:

to become old is to become complicated.

Escape from Meeting

2009-02-13T16:04:00.000+07:00

Sleepy Blue Ocean

2009-02-08T18:54:00.001+07:00

Kind of green actually. And definitely not ocean.

2 am

2009-02-07T02:01:00.000+07:00

There's plenty way to die but we need only one to live

Rainy Season

2009-02-04T08:40:00.000+07:00

Grey morning greets as I stroll to the office. Grey morning hangs over entire officers.

The 7 social sins

2009-02-03T00:22:00.000+07:00

1. Politics without principle
2. wealth without work
3. Pleasure without conscience
4. knowledge without character
5. commerce without morality
6. science without humanity
7. worship without sacrifice.

Which one are you?

Amadeus Pact

2009-02-02T20:53:00.000+07:00

Signed, sealed, and delivered on Feb 1. The birth of hope, a unique blend of idealism and business.

Awake at the Top

2009-01-30T07:37:00.000+07:00

Fifteen stories below of north Jakarta.

Renumeration Meeting

2009-01-28T21:37:00.000+07:00

A bunch of high office people make a big fuss over how much they and others should be salaried.

More on Obama

2009-01-27T23:13:00.000+07:00

Obama stories put me on the hostage. It's there everytime I turn around. I have to admit eventually, his closeness with Indonesia give me a goose bumps. A remote US president yet felt like someone I know from the next door. Goose bumps is the apt word.

Morning Greet

2009-01-25T10:55:00.000+07:00

The sun light emerges between thin leaves of pines.

The sound of birds chirping on top of trees.

The smell of completed rain hovering the air.

The bud of cigarettes burnt down.

The time stands still. The bed lures of beautiful dreams.

In Bandung

2009-01-24T19:11:00.001+07:00

The rain starts from showering, heavy, and now end. Hungry stomach and tiresome body casts a dilemma.

Long Weekend

2009-01-24T14:13:00.000+07:00

I'm heading to Bandung and as always, traffic jam curbs my road.

My Consumerism

2009-01-22T16:13:00.000+07:00

Can't resist to buy this ZARA wind breaker.

Early Home

2009-01-21T18:07:00.000+07:00

Weird feeling.

Reference Letter

2009-01-20T22:43:00.000+07:00

Just had email exchanges with my supervisor and international office in Amsterdam. Finally I got the reference letter! Still hunting down another one from my supervisor here in Jakarta. Sadly, the latter will be the tough one.

US President Inaguration

2009-01-20T22:07:00.001+07:00

Why everybody make such a big deal about it. This is an exaggeration.

Favorite Writer

2009-01-20T11:20:00.000+07:00

My other favorite writers. Yeah right...

Flood

2009-01-19T09:24:00.000+07:00

Arriving at the office
nonetheless scattered watering road.

Insomnia

2009-01-19T02:45:00.000+07:00

Never truly awake or asleep.

Got Home

2009-01-18T02:50:00.000+07:00

Uh what a heavy course.

Swimming

2009-01-17T15:38:00.000+07:00

The newly renovated Olympic size swimming pool at Hotel Formule1 Cikini.

Weekend Routine

2009-01-17T13:47:00.000+07:00

Wake up very late, balancing laziness with hunger. Can a person sustain to starving due to his laziness for biting?

Mirror Blog Application

2009-01-16T12:46:00.000+07:00

Installed this application in my facebook and want to check how it works.

2009-01-15T23:08:00.000+07:00

"the stench of a contemptible slanderer is repulsive even to the nostrils of a buzzard"

I have no slightest idea of what the hell that sentence means! Learn again.... Need to Learn more...

2009-01-15T20:18:00.000+07:00

Finally, it's just me and the book.

2009-01-15T10:41:00.000+07:00

2009-01-15T10:40:00.000+07:00

Yes! my book has arrived today. Ordered on Dec 29 from www.amazon.com.

2009-01-14T14:28:00.000+07:00

Is amazed how his life surrounded by sad stories and expected to solve them all.

2009-01-13T18:50:00.000+07:00

The rain has shunned me from going home, I'm alone at the office.

2009-01-13T07:56:00.000+07:00

Had shower and dressed up.

2009-01-13T03:32:00.001+07:00

Still awake.

2009-01-12T23:34:00.001+07:00

Tomorrow's goal is be at the office at 8.30 at the latest. Impossible?

2009-01-12T22:27:00.001+07:00

Uh oh my cracked tea cup finally broke when. I poured hot water into it and successfully burnt my finger.

Wait.... Isn't it tea cup I talked about? Is it supposed to contain hot tea in it?

2009-01-12T21:16:00.001+07:00

One cup of milk tea before enjoying reading this week magazine.

2009-01-12T16:56:00.000+07:00

Heavy clouds hangs over outside my window. Hunger strikes me!

2009-01-12T13:49:00.000+07:00

Rainy season has officially here. Rain and sleepy equal late to work. This morning has broken by harsh words from bos. Late and late....

2009-01-11T10:15:00.001+07:00

Wow I can post pictures too, you see the crack in my tea glass? It wasn't there the last time I used it. Didn't know where it came.

IMG00043.jpg

2009-01-11T10:10:00.000+07:00

--
Sent from my BlackBerry®

2009-01-11T09:45:00.001+07:00

Haha it turned out to change the whole postings, so if you stumbled upon the time gap below, trust me, there was 15 hours gap before I adjust the time stamp.

2009-01-11T09:41:00.001+07:00

Now, checking up the time again Sun, Jan 11, 2009 09:41:15

2009-01-11T09:21:00.001+07:00

Anyway welcome to the era of micro blogging!

2009-01-11T09:19:00.001+07:00

Whew its Sun, Jan 11, 2009 so the time different is 15 hours ahead of the time posted here. Better to fix it from the setting.

2009-01-11T09:13:00.000+07:00

Checking time gap 09:13:53

2009-01-11T03:30:00.001+07:00

Staying up whilst everybody sleep and staying sleep whilst everybody up.

Post Eid Fitr

2008-10-05T23:07:00.000+07:00

Within several hours onward the Eid Fitr long weekend will officially over. The office routine has awaited us, new tasks, new assignments, new paper works. However, something different came up this year, the corruption investigation.

Following the shocking affair on the holy month of Ramadhan involving 500 million rupiahs, our commissioner, and a prominent businessman surely would change the mood of our office henceforth.

There still possibly more interrogation coming and certainly trial process afterward. Growing distrust from public have come questioning our integrity, sparking suspicions among staff, and the lost of our confidence for what we have done and what we will do next are factors that unavoidably will give nuances in upcoming days.

The good side of all of those that suddenly there's a wide public awareness of our existence in this country. Bad news is good news applied once again. Sadly, upon us.

How are we going to deal with the ongoing circumstances and to restore public trust are still yet to see. Hope for the best and anticipate the worst is the most of I can do at present. Nothing else.

And last, Happy Eid Mubarak all! Life always has a lot of surprises! Don't ever loose the spirit!

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2008-08-23T09:39:00.000+07:00

The heyday of APEC meeting in Lima, Peru has ended for me. It took 12 hours flight from Lima to Amsterdam, waited 7 hours wandering around in Schiphol airport, and took another 14 hours flight to Jakarta, with short stop in KL.

I woke up this Saturday morning with immense loneliness ambushed my conscience. Like a lost adventurer wakes up to silent morning in dense forest accompanied by only ray of sunlight emerges between leaves. Like a camel strolls alone in unmanned vast silent desert surrounded by only sound of wind.

Am I lost my way? Am I lost something?

My heart has its own portrait of this: I wake up to my delicate soul mate who misses me desperately this last 9 days whom I long so badly. To stare at her beautifully sleepy face and gently touch running down her hair before a line "morning dear, I miss you very bad!". And she hug me tenderly leane her head against mine and says "miss you too darling, tell me about the journey". And we'll have awesome breakfast like we never have breakfast together in our entire life to recoup all the breakfast we've missed those 9 days. And we'll talk, talk, and talk like there's no tomorrow for us.

And that is coming home. Not a physical home but a home where our heart is belong. Every adventurer needs to come home once a while. Every ship needs to berth and rest now and then. Not quiting a journey but just to anchor for a moment before embarking another journey.

But that just a portrait of my heart. I woke up this Saturday morning with immense loneliness ambushed my conscience. I need my home and it is really a pain in the ass to spot one.

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The Passport Ballad

2008-08-07T23:22:00.000+07:00

As usual, the assignment for traveling abroad always came in last minute for me at the office. It was happen before in 2003 to go to Korea and now it happens again and this time to other part of the world: Peru!

The order came last Thursday prior my departure to Surabaya for 2 days travel. The flight to Peru is on the next Monday. It means I have a full week for preparation and that was more than sufficient. That renders no problem at all, BUT hold on sec! my passport will expire in December.

Now since I am a registered resident in Bandung, I have to extend my passport in the immigration office of Bandung. So after back to Jakarta, I headed to Bandung and collecting necessary documents for the passport application.

There I was, Monday morning at the immigration office. And guess what? For you who don't following news closely, there was a major change in passport application process. The immigration introduced the so called e-passport system, which basically try to eliminate broker service of passport handling. And this service has just begun one week before I came.

That's only means one thing for me: more days to have my passport ready, unlike 5 years ago when I can have my new passport ready in several hours.

I don't know what went wrong with the new system, what obvious is hundred neglected applicants filled up the office, some with puzzle face, some infuriated, like me. Some people told me that they have to showed up there since 4 am to queue the smallest number! This is outrageous!

Maybe you can go googling to find out more about this mess. But for short, I had to come for 3 consecutive days (leaving my work) to the immigration office and finally got my photo taken yesterday. Today I checked 3 times and there was still no sign of my passport. Tomorrow is the last working day and my tickets is already bought for Monday! You need to wait until Monday to see how this ballad will end, will I go? Or won't I?

To be honest, I'm really fed up with uncertainty and stressful circumstances each time I have to go abroad. Each time! It was 2003 to Korea, 2004 to UK, Belgium, and Czech, 2005 to Korea (again) and Netherlands, last March to Japan and this time to Peru. Probably the smoothest one I've ever experienced was when I arranged my trip to Ireland (2007) for non-work-related matter. There was no hurdle at all, unlike if it were for my work trip. Gosh!

O passport passport... you had my heart beating faster and faster!
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Father's Fight Against Virus

2008-07-31T00:25:00.000+07:00

It's been a year since some viruses attacked my dad's central neurosystem and caused him really hard to make even slightest movement. If you watch him lifted a glass of water desperately to have a drink by himself, you will surely understand what I meant.

He just landed from Singapore this evening, after having second opinion for his sickness in neuroscience clinic at National University Hospital.

The result is already predicted and it indeed shows no difference with the treatment he received in Indonesia. However, that is not the theme I want to write in this post. What I want is, to make a note, on behalf of my dad, that he never ever give up fight against those viruses. No! not a single time whatsoever.

In his late age, using wheelchair, hardly says anything clearly, and can't do anything by himself, he traveled 150 km from Bandung to Jakarta, flew in Lyon Air to Singapore and browsed the city-state of Singapore.

I have came to understanding a while ago, that this is the war he can not win. Nevertheless, I fully support his desire to looked for second opinion abroad. Deep inside, I agree with his silent strong position, that even in the war which is impossible to win, one has to fight endlessly and wholeheartedly.

Most of the time, it is not the destination that matter, it is the journey.

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Cars Are Illegal

2008-07-06T16:32:00.000+07:00

Having observed the unfortunate develoment in oil market lately, I have strong reason to believe that there will come a time where gasoline cars become obsolete or illegal to be used.

There will come a time where a big fight occur between giant car manufacturers with government worldwide.

There will be.

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Netherlands vs Russia (1 - 3)

2008-06-22T13:31:00.000+07:00

If I were a Dutch man, will I hate Gus Hiddink?

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In Kupang

2008-04-16T23:58:00.000+07:00

Kupang is the capital city of Nusa Tenggara Timur Province (funny when I try to translate it to English: "Eastern South East Nusa") about 4 hours flight eastbound from Jakarta. I was there for 2 days and not much I can say about the city.

Still very underdeveloped, lack of natural resources which lead to small budget and less capacity to promote development, it further complicated with refugee problem from Timor Leste, a newly established country which faces NTT Province directly in the east (formerly East Timor, a province of Indonesia).

Anyway, it is always nice to be able to visit remote areas of Indonesia. This weekend next destination: Banjarmasin, capital city of South Kalimantan province.

In Japan

2008-03-13T21:35:00.000+07:00

For about three weeks, this is my morning routine: walk 20 minutes to Yoyogi-uehara station, ride the train on Chiyoda line and stop in Kasumigaseki station at the 8th stop, continue walking 15 minutes to Japan Fair Trade Commission office.

I am in Tokyo as I write, and have this training about competition law under the auspice of Japan International Cooperation Agency. Well so far, it did good. It just the weather that I.m not very fond of. This early May, the temperature range from 2 to 20 degree, but most of the time I really froze. It also very dry. Make my skin rough and extremely dried out.

Weekend is coming! So I don't have to worry about staying awake in class, which is a very difficult thing to do. I will go sightseeing this weekend! Yay!

Is Silence Golden?

2008-02-21T00:28:00.000+07:00

Ask it to lawyers."Absolutely not!" perhaps the answer. How come the truth is revealed without voicing it up? How come justice is served without accusation and defense? This is a job that hourly paid, to research, to analyze, to conclude, and the most important, to convey it, to clients and counterparts. So how come silence is golden?

Ask it to politicians. "Hell no!" could be the answer. How come democracy prevail without votes? Without freedom of speech and speak up opinion? How come a system that rules by the people works without a clear common goals told by the people?

Probably I'm missing the context here. There must be a circum stance where silence is the wisest attitude. But what kind of circum stance? When you're facing a bad temper opponent? When you know nothing good to say? When?

I believe that eventually you have to speak up your mind in whatever circum stance. The method and time, off course, have to fit the circum stance. But you could never be silent forever! That is for sure.

Thus I reach a conclusion that silence is not golden. We mistakenly take it as a value when actually we're trying to avoid confrontation. There's nothing wrong with avoiding confrontation, but it is very wrong to abandon dialectica process.

--
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Living In The Fast Lane

2008-02-07T15:04:00.000+07:00

Before we enter a new year, three cabinet ministers issued a joint decision to stipulate public holidays and collective leaves in the up-coming year.

Accordingly, everybody knew that February 7 is public holiday to celebrate Chinese New Year and the next day is collective leave day thus people can have four days holiday in a row.

But what a surprise! On February 5, those three cabinet ministers cancel the February 8 as collective holiday and consequently people have to to work as usual on that day!

Now I don't want to comment on how the people suffer from cancellation of their trips, vacancies, and any other activities planned beforehand. I only concern to what happen to me.

I supposed to go to Bandung and meet my folk. Due to February 8 is a work day, I received specific command to go to the office and prepare something for work. Then today is public holiday but I am unable to make the most of it.

Here I am, woke up at two o'clock in the noon, very lazy to clean up, still not take a bath, wash my face, or brush my teeth. Haven't take anything for breakfast (or lunch I supposed). I had a cup of milk tea and a budd of cigarette so far. Just rest my back against the bed and watch tv all days. When this hunger eats me up, I probably get out and look for something to digest or ... Probably not!

Sucks!

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Nice Pray

2008-01-14T20:57:00.000+07:00

"God, please grant me a serenity to accept things I can not change, a courage to change things I can change, and a wisdom to know the difference"

Is it from Bible? Or there is also one in Koran? Possibly. Certainly I got it from a movie "Mr. Brooke". Cool! And exactly what I need.

(Un)concius Mumbling

2007-11-28T01:24:00.001+07:00

When are we going to stop asking question "what am I really looking for in this life"? Perhaps never. Perhaps, what we are really looking for in this life is to be able to answer that exact question. Having said that means, if someone asks you profoundly "what are you looking for in this life?" then you go with "the answer of that question". In one side, you know what you are looking for, you are not lost, you have goal, and your life then is not meaningless. But in the other hand, your answer is a blank card, indefinite, and when you think it over, that is not an answer at all! It seems that there is a windmill in my mind, like a song in Thomas Crown's Affair. Put it on another angle, it means that you have an answer without an answer. Could it be legitimate? I do not see why it is illegitimate. It just like agree to disagree or to choose not to choose. Now I think I better stop this insanity useless thougt of mind. This is what I have become with mobile blogging and qwerty handphone!

Suggestion Please!

2007-11-12T01:14:00.001+07:00

What will you do when you know there's a lot of things you need to finish but you're out of energy and mind? Then you take a break to find some peace but the tasks keep rolling in your head and your brain levels it with numbers of alternative? You didn't get the break nor the job done. You feel very tired yet the job is waiting to be completed. You want to escape from all of that but you very knew that it is your nature to grasp the entire burden on your own . What will you do?

Losing Her

2007-10-30T00:50:00.001+07:00

Sometime we don't appreciate what we have whilst some others people crave to have it. Unfortunately, sometime it necessitates to loss it to realize how it means a lot to us and by that time we can't move backward the clock to honour and appreciate what we had. Remorse always come late and we never suffice to learn from experiences. Oh me, oh me...

Welcome Ramadhan

2007-09-14T23:19:00.001+07:00

Marhaban ya Ramadhan tidak terasa kita sudah menjalani ibadah puasa lagi. Ada beberapa hal yang perlu untuk dicatat dalam kurun waktu selama ini: 1. Tentang perkembangan Bapak. Setelah diketahui mengidap virus TORCH (toxoplasma, rubella, cytomegalo, dan herpes complex 1 dan 2) yang meyerang otak kecil sehingga melumpuhkan syaraf dan diterapi dengan berbagai obat selama 3 minggu di RSCM, keadaan Bapak berangsur-angsur baik. Walaupun berat badannya belum kembali normal karena nafsu makan yang hilang dan tidur harus dibantu obat tidur, semangat hidup Bapak sudah tampak kembali. Sudah hampir satu bulan sejak meninggalkan RSCM dan menjalani rawat jalan, hari Senin besok Bapak akan diperiksa lab kembali. Syukur luar biasa akhirnya Bapak bisa dapat kembali ke rumah dan menjalankan ibadah puasa. 2. Perjalanan ke Dublin. Di tengah-tengah masa opname Bapak, saya mendapat beasiswa untuk mengikuti training hukum di Dublin selama seminggu. Perjalanan yang melelahkan namun sepadan dengan ilmu yang didapat dan kenalan kolega pengacara di berbagai belahan dunia. Hidup memang benar-benar roda yang berputar, kadang di atas kadang di bawah, teringat saya akan sebuah ungkapan "Everybody will fall and how they get up will determine the quality of their life". Dan hingga saat ini saya masih mencoba bangkit dan berharap menjalani hidup untuk mencapai kualitas yang terbaik. Semoga bulan yang suci ini memberikan berkah bagi kita semua. Amin.

Opname Lagi

2007-07-28T23:44:00.000+07:00

Akhirnya setelah mencari second opinion, bapak didiagnosa mengidap sejumlah virus dengan jumlah yang laten sehinga mengganggu sistem saraf di otak kecilnya. Kemudian sejak tanggal 25 Juli bapak diopname di RSCM untuk menjalani program pengendalian virus selama 3 minggu.

Perkembangan Bapak

2007-07-17T00:09:00.001+07:00

Hari minggu kemarin saya pulang ke bandung. Bapak sudah bisa berjalan tanpa walker. Jari-jari sampai sikunya masih kaku, belum ada kemajuan apa pun. Ibu bercerita panjang lebar mengenai psikologis bapak yang sekarang sangat sensitif dan lebih emosional.

Bapak Terjatuh

2007-06-30T11:25:00.001+07:00

Hari ini ulang tahun perkawinan ibu dan bapak yang ke 33 tahun. Kondisi bapak tampaknya terus memburuk. Sudah hilang keseimbangan untuk berdiri tapi masih memaksakan untuk jalan sendiri. Akibatnya sudah 4 kali jatuh sejak pulang ke rumah, benjol dan luka kepalanya. Ibu menangis lagi.

Keluar Rumah Sakit

2007-06-27T21:56:00.001+07:00

Hari ini Bapak sudah keluar dari rumah sakit tapi diagnosa penyakitnya masih nihil.

Masuk Rumah Sakit

2007-06-16T01:01:00.001+07:00

Hari jumat ini Bapak masuk rumah sakit, persis di usianya yang menginjak 61 tahun. Selamat ulang tahun Bapak, saya besok akan menjenguk ke Bandung.

Baju Baru Bapak

2007-06-09T14:19:00.001+07:00

Hari ini Bapak minta dibelikan baju berkerah tangan panjang, sudah lama gak punya baju baru katanya. Kemarin Bapak menolak dibelikan kursi dorong, cukup alat bantu jalan berkaki empat saja katanya.

Bapak

2007-06-08T18:42:00.001+07:00

Sekitar sebulan yang lalu Bapak mengirim sms, isinya singkat tapi sungguh membuat terkejut, bapak terkena stroke ringan. Melalui telepon Ibu menjelaskan kalau jari-jari tangan Bapak seperti diliputi pasir dan kaku. Kekakuannya menyebabkan Bapak tidak bisa memegang gelas tambahnya. Kakinya juga mulai kaku, sering terjatuh kalau jalan. Waktu saya ke Bandung terlihat memang jari-jari Bapak sudah kaku, tapi Bapak masih tampak seperti biasa saja di usianya yang menjelang 61. Masih sempat ingin ditraktir makan di satu restoran yang baru buka di Bandung. Kemarin Ibu mengabarkan lagi kalau kondisi Bapak semakin memburuk dan sempat terjatuh di kamar mandi, dokter-dokter sampai saat ini masih belum bisa mendiagnosa penyakit yang diderita Bapak. Tadi pagi Ibu menelepon lagi katanya kasian Bapak sudah tidak bisa bangun, kakinya semakin kaku, pasir yang tadinya hanya di jari dan tangan semakin menjalar ke lengan mencapai siku. Ibu menangis di telepon. Saya menuju Bandung sekarang. Mudah-mudahan tidak ada sesuatu yang buruk.

At The Crossroad

2007-05-27T13:03:00.001+07:00

Tulisan ini adalah pengingat bahwa pernah dalam persimpangan imajiner hidup ini saya memilih untuk hidup sederhana dan bersahaja, meninggalkan jalan menuju kekuasaan dan hingar bingar panggung utama kehidupan yang penuh kenistaan.

Lagi di Solo

2007-04-13T22:10:00.001+07:00

Abis naek becak, udah lama juga gak naek becak.

About Flying

2007-03-29T19:18:00.001+07:00

I've just landed from surabaya and now on a bus that take me to gambir. Flying has become a weekly routine in my job. Airport is like a second home for me. I've become entirely familiar with procedures of flying. Security check, check in, security check, delay, embarking the plane, take off, landing, and disembark. However, to this very second i fail to comprehend the point of turning off the light and keeping open the window shut related to the safetiness of take off and landing. Are they really necessary? Well, perhaps it will remain a mistery. Note: the best part of flying in the night is be able to see the city light scenery from above and see the disperse light magnifies as the plane touch the ground, superb!

Long Weekend Note

2007-03-19T17:38:00.001+07:00

How can people manage to quit smoking? It's my third failed attempt. The first attempt was in the end of 2002 which last for 6 months. The second attempt was in the mid of 2005 which last for 3 months. And last week I tried to quit smoking again, now it is a national holiday Monday and I smoke in my room again. Can't get rid this anathema habit in my life. I'm thinking to use some hypnotize.

Disclaimer

2007-03-19T17:00:00.001+07:00

It's been a while since my last posting due to my hectic workload aggravated with my imperfect health. I decided that I won't be able to post any entries from the office henceforth. Now that I have bought a rather sophisticated Nokia E50 (I used to cling to my old Nokia 6310i) so I can have my entries written and posted from my mobile. I use Abiro Mobile blogger and long to see how its work. So let's fire away.

Stealing Time

2007-02-08T09:58:00.000+07:00

There are so many things to do with so little time to describe. However, a few matters has caught my attention:

Flood
Needless to say more. We’re fed up with it. It’s been hundred of years in Jakarta, hundred times of flood. There’s a saying that even a donkey will not fall in the same hole twice. I guess we all worse than a donkey, we all are donkey king (not Kong!). Go to Petisi Banjir Jakarta.

Fever
Under staff with increasing tasks = getting sick. That’s what happened to me. I got fever, and fever these days is trickier than ever. Could it be dengue fever, chikunguya, avian flu, you name it. Glad it was only the under staff with increasing tasks. For me, getting sick is the only way to break away from the job and months of sleepless nights. I entertained my self with some great new books and hilarious Jerry Seinfield during 4 days total bed rest.

Got back to work now...

It's A New Day, It's A New Dawn...

2007-01-08T09:59:00.000+07:00

Bukan bermaksud mengecilkan semangat di tahun baru 2007 ini, tapi tampaknya tahun ini diawali dengan mala petaka bertubi-tubi di bidang transportasi.

Bukan bermaksud tidak percaya pada pemerintah, tapi tampaknya sudah lewat seminggu pesawat Adam Air masih juga tidak ditemukan, sampai-sampai kita perlu bantuan Singapura dan Amerika.

Bukan bermaksud menghina, tapi tampaknya kita ini benar-benar bangsa yang menyedihkan.

Bukan bermaksud ngomongin orang lho.

P.S.: Di Indonesia ini, kalau kita memulai kalimat dengan “bukan bermaksud….” justru sebenarnya itulah yang benar-benar kita maksud.

The Blues Traveler

2006-12-19T16:59:00.000+07:00

Let’s make it an official record. Before closing of this year, for the past 4 months, I have traveled to Palembang, Bali, Surabaya, Makasar, Balikpapan, Jogjakarta, Makasar (again), Batam, Balikpapan (again). It accounted for 17,924 km (11,138 miles) in total back and forth from Jakarta. And there will be another Balikpapan (2,478 km back and forth) and Makasar (2,800 km back and forth) before December 31.

What a journey in a very short time!

Paradox

2006-11-24T10:28:00.000+07:00

Just when I put my best effort to seek the truth, life replies with so much lies and deceits.

Just like when I was in Amsterdam with plenty of cheap cars, I don't need one since the public transportation treated you kindly. Now I'm in Jakarta with lousy public transportation, the average price of cars is amongst the most expensive one in the world.

Just like when you had large amount of money, you spent it like tomorrow is the last day on earth. And when you ran out of money, your couldn't even buy your own lunch. Hey this is not a paradox isn't it? Ya well…

TAQABALLAHU MINNA WA MINKUM

2006-10-30T12:36:00.001+07:00

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Lebaran Sebentar Lagi

2006-10-16T14:39:00.000+07:00

Dan rasanya cepat sekali. Rasanya baru kemarin hari tersesat di Den Haag mencari mesjid KBRI untuk menunaikan Sholat Ied bersama. Sekarang tinggal beberapa hari lagi umat Islam di seluruh dunia akan merayakan hari kemenangan bersama-sama.

Lebaran tahun ini saya masih berkantor di KPPU, masih di Juanda 36. Masih duduk di kursi dan bekerja di meja yang itu-itu juga. Masih di cubicle yang sama juga. Masih pulang ke kamar kos di Batu Tulis, dulu di Batu Tulis XIII, sekarang di Batu Tulis XIV. Masih jalan kaki juga. Masih single juga. Masih akan ke Garut di H+3 halal bi halal dengan keluarga besar. Satu-satunya perubahan yang mungkin agak penting sekarang saya sudah punya gelar LL.M. Padahal semua orang juga LL.M, Lambat-Laun Mati.

Selebihnya sama. Dan sungguh rasanya merugi. Ketika waktu terus berkelebat tak dapat dicegah sedangkan kita masih menjalani hari demi hari tanpa perbedaan. Dari hari yang satu ke hari yang lainnya. We gain nothing while we’re getting old.

Tapi kata orang kita mesti bersyukur. Atas semua yang kita punyai, yang mungkin akan terasa dahsyatnya ketika ia justru hilang dari diri kita. Menyukuri hal-hal yang sepertinya luar biasa membosankan tapi merupakan karunia Illahi yang tak ternilai (dalam konteks ini: masih punya kerja, masih punya kamar kos, masih punya kaki, masih bisa bebas ngegombal, masih bisa mudik dan bertemu keluarga). Karena tidak semua orang memiliki apa yang kita miliki. Tapi ironisnya, kita juga tidak memiliki semua yang dimiliki oleh orang lain.

Ah cape ya kalau dipikir-pikir begini. Lebih baik kita semua tidur saja, tarik kembali selimut tebal itu dan kembali mendengkur. Melukis mimpi-mimpi indah tentang masa depan yang tak kunjung datang. Setidaknya kita masih punya mimpi, tanda bahwa kita masih hidup dan masih mau berjuang, sekalipun dalam tidur.

FASTING MONTH AGAIN

2006-09-25T11:56:00.000+07:00

At present, all moslems around the world are cherishing the fasting month, the holy month. A lot of things have happened between one fasting month to another fasting month. Now when I think about it again, I get more understand with the saying “time is nothing but cycles of event”. It is indeed only a distance between one event to another event, time does never exist.

In 2004, half month of the fasting month I spent in six different countries: Singapore, Czech Republic, Belgium, France, England, and Hong Kong SAR. While the rest I spent in Indonesia.

In 2005, the whole fasting month I spent in the Netherlands.

This year, I will spend the fasting month mostly in Jakarta, just like I did in 2003. Before 2003, I mostly spend the fasting month in Bandung with my family.

From all the venues that I spent in within the fasting month, it becomes clear that the pleasure of carry out the fasting is not depend on where or what you have when you start your meal early in the dawn or when it comes to break the fast in the afternoon. Yet they are alone indeed always joyful events.

But the most matter is, with whom you have your early dawn meal and break the fast. To have them with your loves one is an incomparably paradise. Fasting or not fasting, to eat alone is bad for your digestion.

HAPPY FASTING MONTH CELEBRATION WITH YOUR ENTIRE LOVES ONE!

BACK TO LIFE

2006-08-25T10:26:00.000+07:00

How can you tell that the life you live now is not a dream? And the dream in your sleep is actually the real life? How can you so sure?

It’s been a month since you went back to Indonesia, drowned in the daily hectic traffic jam in Jakarta, bored to death in the office not knowing what to do, cope with the hot and humid temperature which goes all year round.

When the plane arrived at Jakarta’s airport, you strolled along the way out, with a huge luggage in your right hand, a cabin size baggage in your left hand and a laptop bag on the top of it, and a backpack full of last minute stuff in your back, your eyes started to browse the crowd, looking for one or two familiar faces you long for the last six months.

One by one those faces materialized as your heart started to jump out of your chest, your thoughtful little brother, your quiet father, and your patient mother. Tears went down through your cheek, you wiped it slowly with the back of your hand and you rushed to hug them one by one as the agonies of being separated stroke heavily in your heart, and you ponder silently “gosh!, if you were there with me all this time… if you only knew what I have been through” but your lips were frozen as the million of feelings craved to burst out desperately. Only the warm-tight hug that spoke for that moment, and the next thing you knew, you melted with abundant joy and bliss. Stories are exchanged endlessly, you tried to describe them all of things you sensed over there, but you very knew, you will never succeed.

Days went by, you began to convene with distant relatives, old friends, work colleagues. Same questions popped up “What it’s like?” “How did you feel?” “Was it….?” “Was that…?” “Were there…?” You answered all of their questions enthusiastically, explained about this and that, referred to one of this and that. You went further blabbed million things.

Now the frantic welcome home chit chat started to drop off, you secured time for yourself, you re-run the entire memories of living in Amsterdam, and amazingly you came to a conclusion that your life in Amsterdam was only a dream.

“I was dreaming to go to Amsterdam before, it felt like living in a dream when I was in Amsterdam, and I am still dreaming that I’ve been in Amsterdam right now”

Friends are the only real thing. Love you guys!

The KLM Blues

2006-07-29T15:17:00.000+07:00

Now I am crystal clear why did the Air France acquire KLM to save it from the threat of winding up. My last experience using their services confirmed their awful services so that every passenger will do their utmost effort to avoid flying with KLM, or at least I will. Below are the several reasons thereof.

1. E-ticket Failure
It was sunny afternoon when I stepped in to the Schipol Airport, scanned my passport into the self-service check in machine, printed the boarding pass and went straight to the drop-off baggage counter. The officer in drop-off counter asked my ticket and I showed her my e-ticket which turned out to be insufficient. What the hell is going on? I phoned the KLM office three weeks in advance to confirm my flight date, they gave me the booking code, and that was it, no crap about necessity obtaining real ticket or whatsoever. The officer apparently was in the state of puzzlement too, thus she went to the ticket counter for about 20 minutes. Went back and hailed me to go with her to counter ticket so I could watch her have Dutch conversation with the ticketing officer (ik begrijp niet hoor!) and sent me back waiting in the drop-off counter. It took almost 30 minutes later when she showed up with new e-ticket and said everything is “klaar”. Well sister, you have wasted my time more than an hour, I have should used that precious hour to spent with my friends who troubled to accompanied me to the airport and exchange some last words with them before I leave. Besides, what was the function of the boarding pass anyway? I got it from the machine with no problem at all, did it mean that I have valid confirmed reservation for the flight I supposed to ride in?

2. Flight Delay
The plane was scheduled to fly at 9 PM, all the passengers already onboard on time. There we were, sited in our seat respectively as the clock ticked minute after minute without any slightest movement of the aircraft.. Exactly at 10 PM the captain announced “You maybe wandering why we haven’t flown yet as we supposed to (you damn right!)….. we have some technical problem with the break fluid from the right wing….. we need you to disembark the plane….. it needs to be fixed for about one to two hour”. So dames en heren, we stepped out the plane to the embarkation waiting room and wait for another vain.
It was 11 PM, two hours elapsed from the schedule, and there was no indication that we all are going to fly soon as promised. At 11.30 PM there was announcement that the technical problem is still there, and the captain will decide in the next 15 minutes what to do about it. Exactly at midnight, the captain announced to delay the flight until the next afternoon, and spontaneously there were “whoooaaaaaa” mumbling into the air. All passengers thereafter are accommodated in the Ibis Schipol Hotel until the next morning, obtained amenity coupon consist of meal coupon, telephone coupon, and discount of €50 for next fly with KLM (next fly? Yeah right!). I refused the hotel accommodation, I could go back to my friend’s place and spent the night there. I insisted for cash payment so they gave me €45 which way too small for all the trouble they caused. But it was already very late in the evening, and I was very tired so I dropped the lawyering thing. If you think that was the worst case, think about other passengers on that plane who:
- have connecting flight to Melbourne, Bali, and all other destination that absolutely will miss the connecting flight, and required to take lengthy procedures to get reimbursement for the cost incurred due to the delay from KLM
- an Indonesian girl, who flew from Glasgow, Scotland to Jakarta and have transited in Amsterdam, was in trouble when pass through the immigration since she did not have schengen visa (hey she wants to go to Jakarta, not to stay one night in Amsterdam!), so the immigration officer took her back inside the immigration office and produced special visa for her.
- an Indonesian family whose mother was passed away in Indonesia and urgently need to go home, because families in Indonesia waiting for their arrival before bring the mother to her last retirement. How much KLM can compensate for such emotional damage?

3. Route Alteration
The next day, the moment I stepped into the aircraft, the stewardess gave me a piece of paper with a paper long of writing therein which basically says that “due to operational circumstances, the flight won’t stretch from Kuala Lumpur to Jakarta” What??? What is this crap again? They promised to rebook the passengers whose destination is Jakarta to other airline and assured if there is no flight available in the same day, passengers will be provided all the transport and hotel accommodation necessary. Oh KLM what a great service you got here! Anyway, the plane eventually flew this time and landed in Kuala Lumpur around 6 AM local time, we were directed to transit desk to switch plane to Singapore Airlines, and that was another hour of queuing before we got another two boarding passes. Two? Yup, one for Kuala Lumpur-Singapore and the latter for Singapore-Jakarta. A Dutch passenger exhaustedly from the queuing and security check said to me in Singapore “we’re almost there”. That was bloody ridiculous, operational circumstances, what circumstances were that all about? Only God know, we were never informed about it but we need to changed plane twice because of that. We eventually arrived at Jakarta around 11.30 AM, one day late behind the schedule. KLM was quite lucky this time, almost the Dutch passengers in the aircraft went for vacation, nothing to hurry the journey. Supposed they traveled for business purpose and suffered any damages due to the delay, I will be very delighted to help them to sue this company.

So friends, I have one tip for you who wish to use KLM service: DON’T.

Posting Terakhir dari Amsterdam

2006-07-21T20:44:00.000+07:00

Tiga hari ke depan saya akan berada kembali di Indonesia, meninggalkan kota penuh angin laut utara ini.

Buku-buku dan beberapa barang pribadi sudah dikirim melalui kurir. Urusan administrasi dengan pemerintah kota setempat sudah selesai. Langganan internet dan telepon genggam segera akan diakhiri.

Hal yang paling menyedihkan di antara kesibukan untuk mempersiapkan keberangkatan pulang, tentunya perpisahan. Dengan kolega seperjuangan di kelas, teman-teman di dormitory, rekan-rekan sesama pelajar dari Indonesia, dan sahabat-sahabat yang teramat istimewa.

Tak dinyana perjalanan kali ini membuahkan simpul persahabatan yang sungguh erat. Sama-sama jauh dari keluarga dan teman di Indonesia, berkelana di negeri orang dengan budaya yang sungguh berbeda, bergadang bermalam-malam menyelesaikan studi yang melelahkan, semuanya melahirkan "brother" dan "sister" yang baru. Yang dalam sekejap mata akan segera terpisahkan kembali, oleh jarak dan waktu. Time to say goodbye, it really kills me in the inside.

Dua kali saya menangis tersedu selama petualangan di negeri kincir ini, pertama ketika menerima e-mail dari adik saya di Bandung, kedua ketika mengabarkan kelulusan saya kepada orang tua melalui blog ini. Dan sungguh, air mata itu akan kembali mengalir ketika saya harus berpisah dengan sahabat-sahabat saya yang luar biasa. Seandainya saya bisa memilih, saya akan memilih untuk tak mengenalmu, karenanya saya tak perlu mengucapkan salam perpisahan denganmu.

Selamat tinggal Amsterdam, kanal-kanal sunyi di sepanjang Zuider Amstel, hiruk pikuk kehidupan malam di Leidseplein, kincir-kincir angin di sepanjang sungai Amstel, salju putih dan lembut di musim dingin, dan Uilenstede yang penuh kenangan. Selamat tinggal Amsterdam, semoga tangan sang nasib dapat mempertemukan kita lagi kelak, dan membangkitkan kembali semua memori yang tertanam di tanah Belanda yang datar ini, yang tertiup oleh angin kencang dari utara, yang terekam oleh lansekap rumah-rumah boneka di Centrum.

Tot ziens!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lulus LL.M

2006-07-03T23:38:00.000+07:00

Bu,
ini Farid
anak Ibu
sekarang udah selesai S2
jauh-jauh ke Belanda

sayang Ibu gak ada di sini
ngeliat Farid diwisuda
ngeliat Farid jatuh bangun
dari satu kuliah ke kuliah lain
dari satu tugas ke tugas lain
sambil didera empat musim

Bu, sekolah Farid udah selesai sekarang
Farid udah mau pulang
udah kangen rumah
ini Farid Bu,
anak Ibu
masih sama seperti yang dulu

yang suka bikin Ibu marah-marah
yang suka bikin Ibu sedih
yang suka bikin Ibu khawatir
sekarang udah diwisuda

sayang Ibu gak ada di sini
gak bisa Farid cium tangannya
gak bisa berbagi kebahagiaan
Farid cuma bisa nulis ini buat Ibu
sambil berlelehan air mata
semoga Farid udah bisa ngebuat Ibu bangga
semoga Farid udah bisa ngebuat Bapak bangga

Ini Farid Bu, anak Ibu sama Bapak.

Sholat Jum'at di Rumah Sakit

2006-06-16T20:56:00.000+07:00

Jum'at siang ini seperti biasa saya mengayuh sepeda Gazelle saya ke Vrije Universiteit Medisch Centrum (VUMC) untuk mengikuti sholat Jum'at. Ya, di basement rumah sakit ini (kliniekgebouw) terdapat mesjid kecil di samping tempat ibadah agama-agama lainnya. Umat Islam di Belanda merupakan populasi terbesar kedua sehingga seharusnya mesjid bukanlah barang yang sulit untuk ditemui di Amsterdam. Namun lokasi VUMC adalah yang terdekat dari pondokan saya di Uilenstede dan selama 10 bulan terakhir selalu mesjid inilah tempat saya menunaikan ibadah Jum'at.

Apa bahasa yang dipergunakan dalam setiap khotbah Jum'at? Arab! Sempat beberapa kali khotbah disampaikan dalam Bahasa Belanda. Beberapa ma'mum Jum'at bisa berbahasa Arab dan Belanda, ada ma'mum yang hanya mengerti bahasa Belanda , dan ada juga yang seperti saya: tak paham kedua-duanya. Walhasil setiap khotbah Jum'at saya hanya terbengong-bengong dengan manis. Dulu di Indonesia, khotbah bisa jadi salah satu penentu di mesjid mana saya akan menunaikan ibadah Jum'at. Penentu dalam arti khotbah mana yang paling pendek. Karena sering kali khotbah yang panjang menerbangkan lamunan saya setinggi langit tanpa menyimak isi khotbah.

Tapi terus-terusan mendengarkan khotbah yang tidak kita pahami menjadi sangat membosankan. Dan di saat-saat seperti itu, sambil duduk mendengarkan khotbah Jum'at berbahasa Arab itu, saya melamun kembali. Merindukan betapa nyamannya memahami apa yang dibicarakan di depan sana, meskipun kadang karena nyamannya itu saya lelap tertidur sepanjang khotbah.

Image is taken from www.vumc.nl

A Perfect Timing

2006-06-10T04:46:00.000+07:00

Thesis + lazyness = suicidal tendency

Lazyness + world cup = couch potato

Thesis + world cup = helpless

World cup + Thesis + lazyness = Me! Me! Me! Me!!!!!!!!

Why?????

Oh Not Again

2006-05-28T04:50:00.000+07:00

Here we go again, another catastrophe that takes away thousand of lives. Just like that, when the nature twists its surfaces instantaneously and horribly, we stunned silently gazing to the grief it left. Souls are released to eternity, old and young, we cry.

Seems like disaster keep coming to us persistently. Is the nature infuriated with all our disgusting behaviour and decided to wipe them for once and for good? But why the nature takes all the little, benevolent, innocent people that has nothing to do with the flaws of this country? And tragically left the bastards to breathe?

Has the nature done the math? And judged that too many people living in this so-called Indonesia? And therefore cut it down? No, seriously, with the annual terorist-bombing, tsunami in Aceh, earthquake in Nias, Flores, and now in Jogja, has this downsizing process reached the end at all?

There's a little guilt inside me for feeling a distance facing all of these. Indeed I am 11,361 km away but I think the frequent disaster in Indonesia makes me quiet a numb. Can't shed a tear no more, all dried up with the wind. Can't feel sad no more, this heart already broken into pieces a while ago.

PART TIME JOB IN AMSTERDAM

2006-05-23T03:29:00.000+07:00

Ketika tak diperlukan, ia ada. Ketika diperlukan, ia tak ada. Apakah itu? Semua semua.

Beberapa bulan yang lalu saya sempat memperoleh part time job di sebuah perusahaan kecil di Amsterdam. Fungsi pekerjaan saya melakukan tugas-tugas administrasi dan keuangan. Satu minggu saya bekerja 2,5 hari dan untuk itu per minggu saya dibayar €100 atau kira-kira Rp 1,2 juta. Jadi dalam sebulan saya memperoleh Rp 4,8 juta hanya untuk 2,5 hari kerja per minggu (!). Namun sungguh sayang, tantangan dan lingkungan kerja saya benar-benar tidak membuat saya enjoy. Sehingga saya hanya mampu bertahan sebulan di kantor tersebut. Saya pun mengundurkan diri. Toh motivasi saya waktu itu hanya untuk mengisi waktu luang.

Sekarang, di mana saya tidak memiliki waktu yang tidak luang, dan memerlukan uang tambahan demi final piala dunia dan north sea jazz festival, kok sulit sekali memperoleh part time job. Kendala utama part time job di sini adalah: bahasa! Hanya bermodalkan Nederlanse Taal seadanya hasil kursus mingguan yang banyak bolosnya tidaklah cukup untuk bisa memahami percakapan-percakapan yang panjang. Biarpun dikatakan di Amsterdam semua orang bisa berbahasa Inggris, hampir semua lowongan kerja, baik part time maupun full time mensyaratkan kemampuan Bahasa Belanda ini. Kadang saya membayangkan betapa mudahnya seandainya saya hidup di English speaking countries. Tapi usaha jalan terus, jangan pantang menyerah bukan?

Bukannnnnnnnnn